As The World Turns..

I can't believe it has been nearly two years since I wrote in here. Well, actually, I can believe it. Not a huge fan of journals. Have decided to write though for a few reasons - am bored and am at Ben's and want to remember.

He is sat at his computer. Playing World of Warcraft. He's a grunt. Level 60. He sits in his blue track pants, grey FCUK shirt. He has headphones on. His barefeet are on the browney orange carpet. His right elbow leans on the desk, his left on the mouse. He is left handed. I didn't remember. He has put on a bit of weight since I last saw him. But not much. Not too much. Still so sexy. Tall. Clean hair. Stubble. A diamond earring in each ear. Arguing with his Dad through the headset. I don't remember his hands. They are different. Or his feet. The same stomach.

FCUK SUITS.

Here I am. Where I always wanted to be. With Ben. How many nights did I dream of this. Hundreds. A thousand maybe. A thousand nights of wanting him with me. Of crying. Of dreaming. And here I am. There he is. 6 feet away from me. 6 feet so close. 6 feet too far. He looks at me sometimes. Checks I'm okay. I smile back.

FCUK YOGA.

Rayven. In a guild. She dresses as a pirate. It says something about a man who plays a female character. WoW. He is comfortable. We are comfortable. We know each other. We remembered. We learned again.

FCUK DIETS.

I walk out the room. I touch his shoulder as I pass. He grabs my hand. Okay skip. Back to the game. He isn't rude. He is comfortable. We do not need pretence. No rules. No manners. We are comfortable.

FCUK HANGOVERS.
FCUK TRAFFIC.

He is amazing. My dream. My memory. My passion.

He is here. As am I. We are together.

About time.